Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Chop

Am I still me when I get, as Rachel puts it, a "boy haircut"?  "Are you my mom?" asks Wesley, "because you don't look like her with your hair like that..."

For the first time in the whole of my 37 years, I have cut off my hair.  And I find myself wondering if I'm still me. I don't look like me anymore.  While it is wonderfully easy to have very short hair, my head feels odd, like I'm wearing a hat.  It seems that those who know me are looking at me funny.  And they must be thinking how much worse I look with short hair!

Then I talk to myself.  Why the chop? Because I wanted to! I wanted to know how it would look, how it would feel, and how much easier it would be to be free from all the frizzy strings hanging around my face as I make dinner, change diapers, give baths, hold a six-month-old sticky-fingered little girl.

But what I am learning is that my hair does not define me. Yes.  I am still me with this short hair.  My roles, wife, mother, daughter, do not define me.  My setting does not define me, whether Orlando or Sydney. God designed me to live and love in my very own Michelle way.

If I had never cut my hair off, I would never know whether I prefer my hair long or short.  Now that it is short, I know that I like the way I look with long hair, but I like the ease of life with short hair.  Now I know more about me.

If I am afraid of doing that thing which I've never done before... Or if I am paralyzed by what others will think of me as I make decisions in life, then I cannot know me.  I can never be the woman God made me to be, full of passion and life, if I am unwilling to step outside the lines, whether lines drawn by myself, my story, or others.

So here's to not being who I am "supposed" to be, but by dreaming, by risking, beginning to see who I truly am.


  1. Have always and will always loved those curls. Short or long. They are still curls. Glad you had the guts to find out that you are still you. :)

  2. Hi Michelle, I'm Mark Amermans daughter and my husband and I are in Sydney until tomorrow. We'd love to catch up for a coffee or a drink somewhere if you're free. My number is 0449 797 957. Hope to hear from you!

  3. Hey Tim, thanks for your call! I didn't catch your number because my phone was off. Can you please text it through? Thanks!

  4. Hey guys, we'd love to stop by this morning if you're still free. We don't have your number but if you could either text it to me or call us, that would be great. Thanks!

  5. I have loved reading your journey these last few months! What an adventure you and the fan have had.
    love seeing what God is teaching you...
    (I like the "chop". )
    Hope all is well.
    How much longer are you in Sydney?
    Lots of Love- Meg + the Mages gang

  6. Love reading your blog!!! I think it is awesome you and your family are on such an amazing adventure- you only have one life, live it well! I chopped all my hair off after I got married, super short, I found I liked it long for me and now I know. It will grow, it is just hair. PS, the kiddos are growing up and super cute! Jaymie Lewis